and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
