Quick, to the slutcave!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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