Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
