he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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