she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
