ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
