I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
