Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
