I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
