your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
