just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
