i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
