Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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