Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
