You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
