my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My dick has a subreddit
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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