Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
