Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
