so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
