dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
