$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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