Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
