Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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