Small penises have feelings too.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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