I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
