I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
