nut hugger
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
