Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
