Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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