Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
