Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
