You're my little dorito
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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