I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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