bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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