North Korea, Best Korea!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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