i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
