God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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