i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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