when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
