hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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