But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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