weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am available for nakedness
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
