yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I see more hoeing in ur future
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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