I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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