also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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