No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
