There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
