I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I know her cup size but not her name....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
