is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
