the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
