Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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